A woman gets cheated by her husband. Devastated, she doesn’t know how to continue to live her life.
She heard that there’s a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain and decided to go there to consult him.
After a few days of traveling, walking, climbing, she reaches the top and meets the wise monk
I have spent my whole life with him, my youth was dedicated to support him, take care of him.
And now he left me with a young woman.
My life is stolen, and I’m left with nothing.
I don’t know what to do.”
The monk gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it.
After she finishes eating, he asks, “Is the cookie delicious?”
“Yes,” she answers.
“Do you want another one?”
“Sure, please.”
The monk looked her in the eyes and said, “Do you see the problem now?”
The woman thinks for a while, and then slowly speaks, “I guess human nature is greedy.
You got one, then you want more, maybe a new one, a bigger one.
It’s never enough. And nothing lasts forever, anything is impermanence.
We should be aware and not disappointed by that.”
…
..
.
The monk shakes his head, “No, I mean you are too fat, you should eat less.”
=============================
A newlywed couple had just moved into their first home.
The husband is slouched on the couch, glued to a football game.
During a commercial break, his wife says, “Honey, can you change the lightbulb in the hallway after the game?”
He smirks and replies, “Do I look like a damn electrician?”
A few days later, she says, “The fridge door’s busted. Can you fix it?”
He shrugs, “Do I look like a damn appliance repairman?”
She tries one more time: “At least fix the broken step by the front door? Someone’s going to break their neck!”
He scoffs, “I’m not a damn carpenter either! What do I look like, Home Depot? I’m going to the pub!”
A few hours (and beers) later, guilt kicks in. He stumbles home expecting the house to be in pieces—but surprise!
The hallway light is on.
The fridge door works.
The step is fixed.
Shocked, he asks,
“How did all this get done?”
His wife says, “Well, after you stormed out, I sat outside and cried. A nice young man walked by and asked what was wrong. When I told him, he said he’d fix everything if I either baked him a fancy cake… or s.l.ept with him.”
The husband stares at her. “So… you baked him a cake?”
She looks him dead in the eyes: “Do I look like a damn pastry chef?”
Boom. Roasted.
==========================================
A happily married couple had only one major issue in their relationship
This story doesn’t make you cry laughing, let me know—I’ll say a prayer for you.
A happily married couple had only one major issue in their relationship: the husband’s morning routine of farting like a foghorn.
Every day, his wife would wake up to the thunderous blasts, gasping for air as the noxious fumes made her eyes water.
“Please, for the love of all things holy, STOP!” she begged him daily.
“I can’t help it,” he’d say. “It’s totally natural!”
She warned him, “One day, you’re going to blow your guts out.”
The years rolled by, and so did his morning explosions. Then came Christmas morning. As the wife was preparing the turkey, she stared at the pile of innards—gizzard, liver, neck, and all—and a brilliantly wicked idea struck her.
She crept upstairs, where her husband was still snoozing, gently pulled back the covers, and ever so carefully tipped the entire bowl of turkey guts into his underwear before tucking him back in.
A while later, the house shook with his usual morning eruption—only this time, it was followed by a bloodcurdling scream. The sound of frantic footsteps pounded toward the bathroom.
The wife collapsed on the floor, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.
Twenty minutes later, the husband emerged, pale as a ghost, in his now blood-streaked underwear. His face was a mask of horror.
Trying to keep a straight face, his wife asked, “What happened?”
He gulped. “Honey… you were right. All these years, you warned me, but I never listened.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, barely holding it together.
“Well… it finally happened. I farted my guts out.”
He shuddered, then added, “But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers… I think I got most of them back in.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
