A mother-in-law thought she was doing the right thing by helping her pregnant daughter-in-law in the kitchen. But instead of gratitude, she got an outburst, a furious son, and a whole lot of guilt. Now, she’s questioning whether she overstepped or if her daughter-in-law is just being overly sensitive.
A worried mother-in-law shared her story.
Hi.
I’ve been reading your stories for years, and now I need your advice. I never expected to find myself in this situation, but here I am, completely torn. Please help me figure out if I messed up or if this is all just a misunderstanding.
I thought I was being helpful, but I may have gone too far.
My daughter-in-law is pregnant, and I wanted to make things easier for her. So when I saw her cooking, I stepped in with a few tips. I’ve been cooking for decades, and my son practically grew up on my meals, so I thought I was offering helpful guidance.
I brought my own spices, adjusted the stove temperature, and told her the ‘right’ way to simmer the sauce. I thought I was just giving advice, but suddenly, she snapped. ‘Enough! I can do this myself!’ she yelled. I felt awful and quietly left the kitchen, but I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.
Then my son called, and I realized how wrong I was.
I started replaying the whole situation in my head. I did step in a lot… maybe too much. But I never meant to belittle her. I was just trying to help!
At the same time, her version of events made it sound like I was barking orders at her and criticizing her every move. I swear I wasn’t! But I know pregnancy hormones can heighten emotions, and maybe she was already feeling overwhelmed. Now, I don’t know whether I should feel guilty or if she’s overreacting.
Now I don’t know what to do.
I want to fix this before the baby arrives. But if I reach out and apologize, will it make things worse? Or will she see it as me trying to control the situation again? I love my son, and I want to have a good relationship with my daughter-in-law, but I feel completely stuck.
what should I do? Should I apologize or just give her space?