Life is full of choices—but not all of them are good ones. In this collection of short, silly tales, three friends set out to buy the perfect chair, bed, car, and even robot. They had high hopes… and ended up with hilarious regrets.
From vibrating recliners to singing toilets, these stories prove one thing: sometimes the problem isn’t the product—it’s the guy who picked it.
Get ready to laugh as we dive into “Three Guys, Three Bad Decisions: A Comedy of Choices.”
Three Toilets
Three men went shopping for new toilets.
The first guy said, “I live in a cozy log cabin deep in the woods. Got anything rustic?”
The salesman said, “Absolutely!” and sold him a toilet made of solid wood.
The second guy said, “I live in an igloo up north. Got anything that matches the icy vibe?”
The salesman nodded, “Say no more,” and sold him a toilet made entirely of ice.
The third guy said, “I work at the Canadian Museum of History. I want something classy—really patriotic.”
The salesman grinned. “I’ve got just the thing,” he said, and sold him a toilet that had a picture of the Canadian flag on the tank and played O Canada every time someone sat down.
The next day, all three guys came back… looking miserable.
The first guy groaned, “This wooden toilet sucks. Every time I sit down, I get splinters in my butt!”
The second guy shivered, “Mine’s worse. My butt keeps freezing to the seat—I have to thaw myself off with a hairdryer every time!”
The third guy sighed, “Mine’s the worst. Every time I sit down, it starts playing O Canada—and I have to stand back up!”
Three Beds
Three friends went shopping for new beds.
The first guy said, “I’m a light sleeper. I want a bed that helps me sleep instantly.”
The salesman said, “Perfect! Here’s a bed that plays calming ocean sounds.”
The second guy said, “I sleep like a rock. I want something that can wake me up, no matter what.”
The salesman said, “You got it! This bed has a built-in alarm that shakes the mattress and blasts rock music.”
The third guy said, “I work for NASA and love space. Got anything futuristic?”
The salesman grinned. “Absolutely! Here’s a bed shaped like a rocket. When you lie down, it simulates a countdown and lift-off.”
The next day, all three came back.
The first guy said, “I couldn’t sleep at all. The ocean sounds made me feel like I was drowning!”
The second guy complained, “The bed blasted Metallica at 5 a.m. and launched me straight onto the floor.”
The third guy said, “I tried to nap and woke up strapped in, mid-lift-off! I screamed ‘Abort mission!’ but the bed replied: ‘Too late, Captain!’”
Three Chairs
Three friends walked into a furniture store looking for chairs.
The first guy said, “I want something super comfy. I like to watch movies all day.”
The salesman smiled. “Say no more! Here’s a recliner with massage and heating features.”
The second guy said, “I meditate a lot. I need a chair that helps me stay calm.”
The salesman nodded. “Perfect! This one releases essential oils and plays wind chimes.”
The third guy said, “I’m a boss. I want a chair that screams power.”
The salesman grinned. “You’ll love this one! It plays epic music every time you sit down and announces: ‘Welcome, Big Boss!’”
The next day, all three came back—looking miserable.
The first guy groaned, “The massage was so intense, I felt like pizza dough!”
The second guy sniffled, “The essential oils sprayed into my face—I’ve been sneezing for hours!”
The third guy sighed, “Every time I sit down, it shouts ‘Big Boss is here!’ Now even when I go to the bathroom, my coworkers stand and salute!”
Three Cars
Three men walked into a car dealership.
The first guy said, “I need something fuel-efficient for city driving.”
The salesman said, “No problem! Here’s a compact electric car that runs all week on one charge.”
The second guy said, “I like off-roading—give me something wild.”
The salesman grinned. “Try this beast—four-wheel drive, built for mountains.”
The third guy said, “I’m a singer. I want something flashy.”
The salesman laughed. “We got you covered! This car plays your songs every time you start it.”
The next day, they all came back, looking annoyed.
The first guy said, “The car’s too quiet—I couldn’t tell if it was on. I accidentally pushed it for two blocks thinking it broke down!”
The second guy said, “It’s great off-road, but it keeps yelling ‘Warning! Danger Zone!’ like it’s trying to give me a heart attack!”
The third guy said, “The car blasted a recording of my old karaoke performance from 2008. Now the whole neighborhood thinks I’m tone-deaf!”
Three Robots
Three men bought smart robots at a tech expo.
The first guy said, “I want one that can clean the house.”
The salesman said, “Easy! This one vacuums, mops, and even yells at the cat if it knocks things over.”
The second guy said, “I want a robot that can cook.”
The salesman said, “Here’s ChefBot—it knows 200 recipes and even records TikToks while cooking.”
The third guy said, “I want a robot to help me speak more politely.”
The salesman smiled. “Meet Etiquette3000—it corrects you every time you say something rude.”
The next day, they returned… looking defeated.
The first guy said, “My robot vacuumed so hard, it sucked up my slippers—and half my rug!”
The second guy complained, “ChefBot kept filming ‘aesthetic cooking videos’ and told me to wait until the lighting was right—I was starving!”
The third guy said, “I told my friend she was ‘pleasantly plump,’ and the robot screamed: ‘BODY SHAMING DETECTED! APOLOGIZE NOW!’ She stormed out!”