Right after graduation, Liza submitted her university application. She was confident she would get in — her Unified State Exam scores were high, even above the average passing score from last year.
The summer turned out to be hot. A friend suggested spending a couple of weeks in Gelendzhik at her aunt’s place. The thought of the sea, freedom, and adult life without parental control seemed very tempting. But when there was only one day left before the trip, Liza started to worry. Not because she was going alone — this was her first time — but because she wouldn’t see Igor for a whole three weeks.
Inga, Liza’s mother, had recently turned thirty-seven. She and her husband separated when their daughter was about three years old. The father left almost no memories — their marriage was early and unexpected, and the young family couldn’t endure the first hardships: endless sleepless nights, crises, lack of money, and growing resentments.
As Liza grew older, Inga tried to start new relationships. But some men didn’t want to get involved with a child, others simply didn’t appeal to Liza herself.
Two years ago, Igor appeared in their home. He often came over, although he never stayed overnight — at least, Liza never noticed it. He was fun and interesting. He brought gifts, and on her last birthday, he gave her a huge bouquet of scarlet roses.
And Liza fell in love. Igor was only two years older than her mother, but for the girl, the difference seemed huge. She believed she suited him better than her mother did. Every glance from Igor she took as a sign of attention towards herself. “She’s half my mother’s age, she’s only eighteen. If the choice is between her and Inga, the choice should be obvious,” Liza thought. And she was intensely jealous of him with her own mother.
During her absence, anything could happen — for example, Igor could propose to her mother. And then he would be lost to her forever.
The day before the trip, Inga was busy in the kitchen, while Liza was tormented by the question: how to confess her feelings to Igor?
“Liza, could you run to the store? I forgot to buy cheese, and there’s almost no mayonnaise,” her mother asked, peeking out of the kitchen.
“Mom, I haven’t packed yet,” Liza replied.
Inga sighed and went herself.
A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. It was Igor! Liza’s heart started pounding. This was the moment to be alone with him.
She welcomed him like a hostess: sat him on the sofa, started small talk, then turned on the TV and sat next to him. He glanced sideways but didn’t move away.
Their shoulders touched, and Liza couldn’t hold back. Taking his hand, she pressed closer. His cheek was very close, just a few centimeters from her lips. They had never sat so close before, and she had never breathed in his masculine scent mixed with a light perfume so deeply.
Her head was spinning, and Liza kissed him on the cheek. Igor didn’t pull away but looked away and quickly stood up. His eyes showed surprise and confusion. The girl felt unbearably embarrassed. It turned out she had imagined everything — for him, she remained just Inga’s daughter. Liza lowered her eyes, her face flushed.
At that moment, a key turned in the lock. If Igor wanted to say something, the moment was lost. Inga entered, slightly out of breath.
“Igor! You’re already here? I forgot to buy cheese, then remembered about mayonnaise. Dinner will be ready soon,” she said with a smile.
They looked at each other with love. Liza felt her insides tighten with pain, disappointment, and jealousy. He never looked at her like that. Unable to bear it, she jumped up and ran to her room.
“What’s wrong with her? Did something happen while I was gone?” Inga asked Igor.
“Well… what are you cooking for dinner?” Igor distracted her.
“Oh, you must be hungry. I’ll bring it now. But you know, I have news. I’ll tell you after dinner,” Inga said, disappearing into the kitchen.
“I hope it’s good news,” Igor thought, still pondering Liza’s kiss.
And Liza stood behind the door, trying to calm her heart and mentally begging Igor to leave. Dating him now felt unbearably embarrassing.
But when her mother called everyone to the table, Liza came out, sat opposite Igor, and, hiding her awkwardness, began listening to his stories. Inga laughed, and at some point, Liza also relaxed, like before.
But that brief touch still stood between them. It kept her from fully returning to her former state.
“Well, what did you want to say?” Igor asked when Inga cleared the dishes and served tea.
“Wait, I’ll tell you after dinner,” she replied playfully, batting her eyes.
Liza didn’t like when her mother acted like a girl.
“Imagine, Liza leaves tomorrow alone. I just can’t get used to the fact that she’s already grown up. I’m afraid maybe I shouldn’t let her go?” Inga said thoughtfully.
“I’m not going alone, with friends. And we live with adults,” Liza retorted, irritated by her mother’s concern.
“Liza is a smart and independent girl. Nothing bad will happen to her, right?” Igor looked at her, and her heart clenched again.
“Of course, now no one will bother you meeting at home for three weeks in a row,” Liza said sarcastically, throwing a challenging glance at Igor.
“Liza! What’s wrong with you today?” Inga was surprised.
“Nothing,” she muttered and abruptly got up from the table, loudly pushing the chair.
Mom knew how much that sound annoyed her. Without turning around, Liza left and locked herself in her room. Muffled conversation could be heard from the kitchen, but no words were audible.
When Igor left, Inga went to her daughter.
“Let’s talk. Why did you act like that? What happened?” she sat on the edge of the sofa.
Liza lay curled up, facing the wall.
“Have you packed your things?” Inga asked, not knowing how to start.
“Can’t you see the backpack by the window?” Liza thought.
“Why are you angry at me? What’s wrong?”
“You’re acting foolish. You’re being coy, laughing like a little girl. It’s disgusting to watch,” Liza mumbled.
“I’m not pretending. All lovers sometimes act strange. When you fall in love, you’ll understand,” Inga stroked her daughter’s back.
Liza shrugged, and her mother withdrew her hand.
“Is that why you came?” she asked quietly.
“Turn around, please. I can’t talk to your back.”
Liza turned onto her back and stared at the ceiling.
“I want you to be the first to know. I love you very much. And I will always love you more than anyone else in the world,” Inga said and paused. “I’m pregnant,” she added, waiting for a reaction.
At first, Liza didn’t understand what her mother was talking about. The words didn’t reach her immediately.
“A child? From Igor?” she shifted her gaze from the ceiling to her mother’s face. “So now you’ll get married?” she asked quietly, broken.
“No. He’s married. But that doesn’t matter to me,” Inga answered with a sad smile.
“Married? Mom, do you realize what you’re saying? You decided to have a child out of wedlock? Aren’t you ashamed?”
“Why should I be ashamed? I’m a grown woman…”
“Exactly. And how would you react if I told you such news? Why isn’t he divorcing his wife?” Liza was no longer asking — she demanded an answer.
“It’s complicated… Maybe later, when the baby is born…”
“Have you even told him?” Liza sat up sharply.
They looked at each other. A long moment of eye contact. Inga lowered her gaze first.
“I wanted to tell him but decided to wait. I don’t want it to seem like I’m using pregnancy to make him leave his family,” she sighed.
“So you’re hiding it from him? Mom, you’ll be on maternity leave, I’ll be studying, and how will we live? By the time this child finishes school, you’ll be retirement age. Are you going to raise the child alone again? Think about abortion. Don’t you dare laugh in people’s faces.”
“That’s out of the question. You will get married, start your life, and I’ll stay alone…” Inga struggled to find words.
“But you’ll have grandchildren!” Liza’s voice broke. “Have an abortion. Let Igor never know. If he hasn’t left his wife yet, he probably won’t now. You know that yourself. Mom, it’s shameful. You’re so old, and you’re going to have a baby.”
“I didn’t expect you to react this way…” Inga began and stopped.
“What were you expecting? That I’d be happy? You said it yourself: I’ll get married, I’ll have children. So your son and my child will be almost the same age. You think that’s normal? Mom, it’s terrible. It’s unnatural.” Liza raised her voice.
“Okay. I heard you,” Inga said, got up, and slowly left the room.
Liza knew she was exaggerating. Of course, people have children after forty. But she wouldn’t care if it was about someone else. She just couldn’t imagine that her mother and Igor… lovers. Couldn’t imagine them together in bed. That thought caused internal resistance, almost physical irritation.
In the morning, they barely spoke. Liza’s friend’s father came to pick her up to the station. At the door, with her backpack in hand, Liza wanted to ask her mother once more to reconsider but stayed silent.
“Bye,” she said shortly and left.
“Call me!” Inga shouted after her.
Her heart was heavy and confused. In the car, Liza even thought about texting her mother, but the friends were cheerfully chatting, and the phone remained untouched. “There’ll be time,” she thought.
The girls laughed; their mothers certainly had no plans to give birth anytime soon. Liza felt relief. Why can parents forbid their daughters to have children out of wedlock, but children have no right to interfere in their parents’ private lives? Unfair. What if Liza told her mother she was pregnant? The reaction would be the same. Inga probably wouldn’t persuade her to keep the child. And Liza didn’t write anymore.
She relaxed, sunbathed, and swam. After two weeks, the sea and sun bored her. And then suddenly she missed her mother. But she never once thought about how she was doing or how Igor was.
In early August, Liza returned home, tanned and beautiful. She entered the apartment and saw Inga on the sofa — sitting, staring at one point. She should have been at work, not at home.
“Mom, hi, I’m back!” Liza called from the hallway.
But her mother didn’t come out, didn’t hug her. It was very unlike her. Was she still upset? Liza approached carefully and stood in front of her. Inga looked at her with an empty, unseeing gaze.
“Mom, what happened?” Liza noticed her mother was wearing a dark warm dress with sleeves, although it was August, and that she was pale, with red but dry eyes.
“Igor died. They buried him yesterday. I couldn’t even say goodbye. I haven’t been to the cemetery since,” Inga said in a colorless voice.
Liza couldn’t believe her ears and asked again.
“In an accident. He’s gone. Nothing’s left. And neither am I,” Inga continued as if in a dream.
“I’m here, Mom. I’m back,” Liza whispered.
Inga nodded.
“Where was he buried?” Liza couldn’t believe it.
Her mother looked through her.
“Probably in the old cemetery, near his parents,” Inga answered faintly.
“Then we’ll go there tomorrow.”
Inga’s eyes lit up for a moment.
“We’ll go… I have to tell him… How stupid I am. I should have told him right away. I was afraid they’d think I was pressuring him with the pregnancy. Now no one will have him. Only the earth.”
“You didn’t tell him about the child?” Liza guessed, holding back tears.
Inga shook her head. Liza felt a strange relief but immediately felt sorry for herself. Now he didn’t belong to her either.
“I loved him very much. And this child… What’s the point of him without him?” Inga spoke as if in a trance.
“Don’t say that, Mom. This child is Igor’s. A part of him. Everything will be fine. We’ll manage. I’ll help,” Liza knelt before her mother and laid her head on her hands.
“You still want me to have an abortion?” Inga asked.
Liza looked up at her.
“No, of course not. Forgive me for asking you. It’s good you didn’t listen. You raised me alone. And now you’re not alone — you have me. We’ll manage together…”
“Thank you, daughter. Forgive me. I thought badly of you. Igor would be glad… He…” suddenly Inga sobbed and cried.
Liza stroked her shoulders and hair, whispering that everything would be okay. They seemed to have switched roles. Now they had nothing and no one to share. No one left to love but each other and Igor’s little child.
When Inga was nearing the end of her pregnancy, Liza overheard two neighbors talking in the yard:
“Well, Inga made up a baby for herself. But where’s the handsome guy himself? Haven’t seen him for a long time. Probably left her. Or was he married? Oh, we women are so trusting. She’ll have to raise him alone. And she’s not a girl anymore — it’s time to meet grandchildren, but she’s thinking about giving birth.”
Liza approached the women firmly. Her eyes burned with anger.
“Why do you care? What do you even know? Where’s your son, Lidiya Petrovna? In jail? So don’t judge others. Too busy raising husbands? And your son did drugs? What makes you better than my mom? Everyone pitied you, no one judged.
And you, Olga Dmitrievna? Your daughter lives overseas and doesn’t want to know you. So you’re angry at the whole world now. You have nothing better to do than judge others. He didn’t leave Mom. He…” Liza suddenly faltered.
“Why am I justifying myself to them? It’s none of their business.”
“Keep envying,” she said and went to the entrance.
“What she’s become. Don’t let her fool you,” she heard behind her.
“True. Why judge her mother? We’re not without sin ourselves. But Liza is great — defending her own. God gave children — that’s how it should be.”
A month later, Inga gave birth to a son and named him Fyodor. Liza watched with awe as he grew and started to resemble Igor. She kissed his chubby cheeks and remembered that one and only kiss…